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As a life coach, I help people make decisions that fit who they truly are and who they want to become
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Saturday, July 16, 2016

The right advice for your friends, or about the magic of earning trust and the risk of losing it

Attention is difficult to earn and when it's gone, it's gone.
The same applies to other important things in life, like love. Like innocence. Like trust.

Trust is a tricky one, and yet it is so vital, in every kind of relationship.

We need an empathy of attention. Attention is something that can't be refunded or recalled. Once it's gone, it's gone.
So, what have you done to earn it?
Seth Godin


[Can earning (... and losing) someone's trust be that simple?
Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen]

Earning trust, the right kind of, takes time, effort, consistency, hard work. It means showing up day in and day out if you say that you will do so, it means underpromising and over-delivering and not only once, it means being able to demonstrate that you care. For real. On a regular basis or when it is needed the most.

Earning trust, the kind of trust worth to be earned, pays usually off in the long run. And yet it can be lost within minutes. Re-earning that trust, after losing it, is even harder than earning it in the first place and it is above all not always possible.

What if someone puts her trust in you and you fail that person?
What if you let them down?
What if you say something and do the opposite then?

Are they going to trust you no matter what?
And how much is such a trust worth to you, in that case?

[Facebook founder, chairman, and CEO (as of 2016) Mark Zuckerberg,
as "Person of the Year" for Time Magazine, 
December 2010 (© AP Photo/Time Magazine)]

People influence people. Nothing influences people more than a recommendation from a trusted friend. A trusted referral influences people more than the best broadcast message.
Mark Zuckerberg

Giving someone a piece of advice, suggesting or recommending something is a matter of trust, too.
Is your act of referring to something or someone going to make the life of people around you better, easier, happier, more interesting?
Are you serving them, while talking about a book, a place, an experience, a job, a person, a vacation, a purchase, a [fill the blank]? If yes, how?

Are you speaking up in their interest, or in your own?
Are your friends, colleagues and loved ones going to regret to have followed your advice or to have listened to you? If yes, why?
What would you do in that case?

How could you use your power of persuasion in order to improve the lives of people around you that trust you, instead?

Tags: Attention, Trust, Giving advice, People, Quotes, Relationships, Human dynamics

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